All Posts By J.ournal

The Eye of the Thunderstorms

I need three hands to count how many years I lived in California. I only need one to count how many thunderstorms I experienced while I was there.

The other night I was out for a walk on an empty Texas road. In every direction there were dark skies and frantic streaks of lightning. Thunder grumbled ominously off in the distance.

But where I was walking, it was calm. I could see stars above me. There was no commotion, no wind, no rain.

If we named the storms of 2020 like they do hurricanes, we’d have exhausted the alphabet many times over. I don’t need to list them. They’re stamped into our skin like a reckless night at a tattoo parlor.

Sometimes, the smoke from the fires is so thick that it’s as if the sun slept through its morning alarm and just said “forget it”. And we go whole days
with no light.

But on that quiet road I remembered.

About two thousand years ago there was a whole night
with no darkness.

That stuck with me, because I’ve been searching for light
in what seems to be only darkness.

I’ve been searching for truce
in what feels like a war of the worlds.

I’ve been searching for truth
in a raucous cacophony of ideologies, so many to choose from.

I’ve been searching for a way, like an x-ray
to see through the confusion.

But on that quiet road I remembered.

What better way to find the truth
than through God’s spoken word?

What better way to find light
than by He who created it?

I can’t always find the why of the storms
but I’m thankful
that I can always find the eye.

The calm. The comfort.
The correctness.

Even with the all hardship, harshness,
and thunder in all directions
if we follow Him
we will not walk in darkness.

He didn’t say when, or even if
these tempests would cease
but that He would walk with us
and in Him, we could still find peace.

On that quiet road
He remembered me.

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In Offense to Looting

People should be treated equally, but ideas should not.


Recently NPR published an article featuring the author of a book called “In Defense of Looting”. I’ll put aside the question of whether or not our tax dollars should be used to publicize such anti-American ideologies for now, but I’ll return to that later.


It’s important to understand where this worldview comes from and why many people (including high-level politicians and most of the mainstream media) have defended it. So let’s dig in.


Rioting does a number of important things. It gets people what they need for free immediately, which means that they are capable of living and reproducing their lives without having to rely on jobs or a wage.


Clearly the first untruth here is that people loot stores for things that they “need”. TVs, designer handbags, and liquor are not essential items for sustaining human life. You could perhaps still make a point though if you stopped there – most people are sympathetic to the plight of the less fortunate. But the second half of that statement is the kicker:

Without having to rely on jobs or a wage


So other people should work to produce the goods that you are entitled to, but you yourself should be free of such a burden. I think I see where this is going.


Looting, by the author’s definition, is “taking those things that would otherwise be commodified and controlled and sharing them for free.”
Notice here how she uses the words “commodified and controlled” instead of “produced by someone else”. Using subversive language is a common tactic to justify a position that would otherwise be shunned if the speaker stated it in plain terms. Claiming that consumer goods are “commodified and controlled” is supposed to justify her position that stealing is a good thing. It works the other way too. You can veil your true intentions by calling your organization “Black Lives Matter” and be given free rein to wreak whatever kind of havoc you desire.


But I’m getting ahead of myself.


Looting strikes at the heart of property, of whiteness and of the police. It gets to the very root of the way those three things are interconnected. And also it provides people with an imaginative sense of freedom and pleasure and helps them imagine a world that could be. And I think that’s a part of it that doesn’t really get talked about — that riots and looting are experienced as sort of joyous and liberatory.


It should be becoming clear now. It doesn’t matter if you loot or burn down a black person’s business. It’s not about black lives mattering. It’s about the hatred of property, police, and white people, because these are the three things that stand in the way of a magical world where no one has to work and everything is free. Who produces the goods after everything is joyously burned down and the producers of all the goods are jailed or killed is not specified. But I’ll specify it for her: government-run labor camps. Gulags.


Without police and without state oppression, we can have things for free.


It would be insulting to assume that anyone needs any sort explanation for why this statement is wrong on every conceivable level, so, moving on…


Riots are a space in which a mass of people has produced a situation in which the general laws that govern society no longer function, and people can act in different ways in the street and in public.


In other words, lawlessness. People can “act in different ways” without that bothersome law and order stuff. It’s not clear if she understands that those ways can and inevitably would include assault, rape, and murder. But it is clear that she doesn’t want cops around to defend against any such acts.


She also believes that Martin Luther King Jr. was weak for his non-violent approach, that looting is just “proletarian shopping”, that it’s a “right wing myth” that small-business owners create jobs and improve the fabric of a community, and of course, that the U.S. was founded by “cisheteropatriarchal racist capitalists”, which justifies any and all forms of rioting and looting. She has zero remorse for any lives or livelihoods lost, the destruction of dreams, the countless hours of rebuilding, or the cost to the community.


Do you still have any questions about what these people stand for?


It was a bit disconcerting when the article first appeared on NPR, which is state-run media, because the author of the article (i.e. the interviewer) was clearly promoting these ideas as well. Due to pushback it has since been edited to sound more neutral and just put forth the ideology espoused by the book’s author. So in its current form, yes, I’m in favor of this type of journalism. I’m in favor of the free speech that allows someone to think and write these things. I’m glad she puts it so blatantly. It’s out there. We’re not making this stuff up. We know exactly what’s going on here. Burning down businesses is what’s currently feasible, but the real goal is to procure enough power to burn down Western Civilization.


Systemic racism is real and we still have work to do. Those people and organizations that are using social justice as a cloak for 21st century Marxism are not helping us in that work. In fact they’re doing much more harm than good. They have their own agenda, which I hope has been made clear here and in so many other ways. I plead with you to search out the difference. Look beyond language. Be discerning with your heart, mind, money, and actions. Think long and hard about supporting politicians that not only don’t condemn rioting and looting, but have condoned it. Think about what ideology they’re supporting, whether they realize it or not.


All people are created equal and deserve to be treated as such. Ideas are not created equal. We need to have the wisdom to recognize when an idea is not only destructive to our country, but fatal to our humanity and place it where it belongs – on the trash heap of history next to the many failed, murderous incarnations of its ancestors.

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When does a person become a person?

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I’ve been hearing a lot of conversing
and a lot of cursing
about when a person becomes a person
they say personhood is determined by what state you were conceived in
and which constituents think you’re an inconvenience
but I suppose it’s not surprising
we can’t expect to know when it’s alright to take humans out of this world
because we don’t take seriously enough how they get into it

how did we get here
how were these embryos of ethics envisaged
in health class they teach that life can be discarded
as if you accidentally took a piece of fruit
that you didn’t like in the lunch line
curriculums consist of permissions and condoms
sexting, positions, and bondage
abstinence is maybe a footnote
more likely just a punchline
we learn the rules of sexual engagement
from porn, Netflix, and
our most esteemed singers and rappers competing to see who can be the nastiest
we chastise chastity at the altars of Hugh Heffner
and for anyone to offer any objection to this perspective is preposterous
you’re probably already typing a patronizing response to this
it’s okay – I already lost my spot at the cool kids table

look, for just some clumps of cells that have grown
we’re sure good at protecting our cell phones
I guess what we save is what we hold the most precious

sex out of the proper context is just taking from each other
what you can never get back
mutually abusing souls
reducing it to just “consent”
making it so small, so meaningless
treating it like a squeaky swing set
instead of saving up for Disneyland
how much more incredible the reward
to give someone something you can’t register for at Target
you shouldn’t wait because sex is bad
but because it’s the best thing ever

the most momentous transcendentially beautiful thing
two people could ever do
boys I’m talking to you too
conquests of the flesh do not make you more of a man
they just make you another one
don’t tell me it’s impossible
hashtag sexstrike
and don’t tell me about society’s ill-fated quest
to spread the deception that
having a family is an outdated fate worse than death man
it’s been twisted long enough

marriage is not a curse word
marriage is a merger
of hearts and hope
lives and love
faith in the future
a proposal of providence
a pledge and a promise
with proximity and permanence
and a prominence of purpose that you cannot fake, imitate, or simulate

that’s why counterfeit unions will always fall short
we’re not just messing with flesh here
we’re messing with what’s meant to be
a heavenly meshing of body, mind, and spirit

I’m not telling anyone how to live
I’m just telling you what I wish someone would have told me
I’m telling you the lessons they teach you in health class are far less than the whole story
you should question the source
and the conclusions they’ve come to
and as for the wisdom of pop princesses…
well, let’s just say
the promises of promiscuity have never come true
and no contraceptive has ever protected a heart
there’s only one truth

in the end
our reverence for sustaining life
our honor for the womb
what will determine our version
of when a person becomes a person
will be our reverence for how, why, when, and with whom
we create life

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For America

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Right about now, if not for the coronavirus
the summer Olympics would be starting
do you ever watch the opening ceremony?
the pomp and circumstance
the songs and the verve and the dance
the torch lighting
the parade of the participants
they walk out onto the world’s stage in
unison, each nation unanimously uniformed
carefully costumed in customs
to characterize their heritage
then, near the end of this exhibition of traditions
comes the United States of America…

and it looks like a mix of every other country
you see red, white, and blue
but you see a lot of other colors too
you see the smiles
you see the strength that comes
when diversity is merged with purpose
melded by the moxie
to churn mettle into medals
and grit into gold
united by the will to come home as champions
but it was postponed until next year
and I wonder if we’ll even still have team USA by then
I wonder, is America even possible?

this idea of a melting pot
with 330 million ingredients
the delicacy of such a delicacy
will we savor it, or spit it out?
slogans painted on courts and roads want to know
the fire is inquiring
as it drips from awnings of unrest
in the shards of shattered windows
our reflections beg the question
will the American experiment excel
or explode?
will the most prosperous and free country in the history of the world cannibalize itself?

I don’t know

what if we re-envisioned patriotism
into not believing our country is perfect
but believing it’s worthwhile to make our country better
what if we didn’t think of it as pledging allegiance to a flag
but as pledging allegiance to the fabric
that we’re all made of
liberty, equality, and justice are in our constitution
not because we’re American
but because we’re human

it’s why these truths are self-evident
it’s why the yearning to be part of something greater than ourselves is so prevalent
this law that’s written on all of our hearts
is so much more important
than any law that could be written in a Capitol building

if we were willing to live by the tenets of respect, love, and grace
we wouldn’t need to separate ourselves by gender, income, or race
if our conscience is collective
our government doesn’t need to be
what this means to me
is power to the people
we forget, we are powerful people

MLK Jr said we need to be co-workers with God
even if you don’t believe in God
we still need to be co-workers in good
we need to see the good in each other
we need to see the good in our country
yes, learn about slavery, the Confederation, and Jim Crow
but also learn about
Garrison, Gettysburg, and Harriet Beecher Stowe
learn about lynchings, plantations, and segregation
but also about emancipation, the Cold War
and the greatest generation
learn about our most egregious breaches of freedom
learn them so well
that we’ll never feel the need to repeat them
learn about the courage and the passion that we unleashed to defeat them
learn about the failures and successes of America
learn how they’ve both been twisted
learn about what the world would look like today if America never existed

learn, and let us be free to discern
and seek,
and by any means necessary let us be free
to speak

let us be immersed in serving
let us reason our way to our convictions
and not be convicted by coercion

you can’t create a utopia with imperfect people
but you can create a place where people are free to be imperfect
can we at least agree that such a place would be worth it

whatever your intentions
whatever tactics you’re employing
just ask the question
am I building, or am I destroying?
ask not what your government can do
but what you can do

stop looking at everything through glasses that are tinted red or blue
and to the mainstream media – stop tinting everything that the masses are looking at

we can write a much better narrative

look, I don’t know if America is possible
it’s never been done before
but I know the only way to find out
is to want it
and to work for it
to operate from a position of hope and not hate
to thirst, not for blood but for brotherhood
we have to give what it takes
we’re gonna have to summon some of that golden mettle
and moxie and grit
and God and good
and find the will to make our way

when the olympic flame makes its way
to the next opening ceremony
the eyes of the world will be watching to see what countries take the stage

I don’t want to root for
west America, or east America
or coastal America, or middle America
or black America, or white America

I just want to root
for America

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When They Come

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In early 1930s Russia
the Kulaks were the enemy of the state
their crimes?
having an extra cow
owning any kind of machine with a motor that helped them work faster
hiring someone to work on the farm
trying to sell any extra grain that they harvested
or not showing enough signs of starvation
because that meant they were hiding food

and what would happen to one of these privileged peasants
if they were caught?
well, their homes would be pillaged
not that it mattered
because they would never live there again
among the more fortunate rewards for this insubordination
was to board a one-way cruise to a labor camp in Siberia
and if those travel plans didn’t work out
the consolation prize was a beating, a rape
and a shovel
to dig their own grave

the mainstream news continuously abused the Kulaks
accusing them of all of the country’s economic blues
if you listen close
you can still hear the echoes

the crimes of the modern-day Kulak?
having an extra computer
owning any kind of machine with a motor that helps you get to work faster
hiring someone to work at your company
trying to sell any extra goods that you produce
or not showing enough signs of dependence
because that means you’re hiding self-sufficiency

when they come
they’ll tell you they’re trying to solve a wealth deficiency
that they’re freeing people from poverty
but they’ve only ever freed people from property
it is not free stuff
it’s no stuff
because anything that you might think is yours
is only yours until someone that ranks above you shows up at your door
and implores you that it’s not
it doesn’t stop with the rich
or the middle class
or the poor
it doesn’t stop with your property
or your children
or your thoughts you see
no amount of socialist distancing can hide you from this kind of virus
the welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants

when they come
they’ll offer you a green new deal
but the old red deal had guaranteed government jobs too
they were called Gulags
you do not want to start the utopia machine

no regime with collectivist intentions has ever been given an inch and not taken a mile
because at the heart of every socialist scheme
is a communist manifesto

the problem is not the execution
it’s the disillusionment
of any system that
disincentivizes work
cancels charity
annihilates ambition
overthrows ownership
and completely misdiagnoses the human condition
it could never work
it cuts to the very soul of the human plight
because freedom is the first fundamental human right

it’s why no one was ever shot trying to get IN to East Germany or North Korea

but what say ye to the struggle?
what about inequality?
there’s a big difference between humanitarian work
and forced work for the good of humanity
one produces good humans
the other reduces humans to goods
we are absolutely answerable to the call of compassion
but forced compassion is not compassion
it’s just stealing
and listen, we can agree
that capitalism and communism both have extreme greed
but only one has extreme generosity
the other has firing squads

and lest you think you’re not one of the Bourgeoisie
and the hairs on the back of your head will never be the cross kind
bear in mind that every purge of the Bourgeois in history
has also included loyal comrades suspected of individual thought
and ethnic minorities and many of the proletariat
just because they had some extra bullets

history is littered with those who wished for liberty
and those who took it

when they come
they’ll say trust us – this time it’ll be different
but a ruse by any other name
would smell just the same

in a free society we will have to fight inequality
in a society where everyone is forced to be equal
we will have to fight
to be free
which will it be?

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To Build or Destroy?

Name one country on this planet whose borders have never changed. Whose land was never fought for. Where every single inhabitant is an ancestor of someone who sprouted forth from within those borders. Name one country whose bedrock isn’t mottled with the cinders of conflict and the ashes of savagery. Can you?

I’m going to assume that you don’t approve of the practices of many Europeans during the colonization period of America, such as murder, pillaging of land, and slavery. By this logic I’m also going to assume that you don’t approve of the practices of the people that lived on this land before the Europeans came, like murder, rape, slavery, pillaging, scalping, roasting people over fires, and tearing the hearts out of children.

I’ve got some bad news. Humans have been doing this to each other ever since there have been humans. But stop and think for just one minute. Think about how you’ve never had to take part in or be the victim of such atrocities. Think about the luxury you have to sit by your sparkling pool on the 4th of July and make up songs about how much you hate your country. The luxury you have to dance on the flag and stomp all over the sacrifices that strangers made for you.

Think about how you’ve never had to shed one drop of blood for your freedom. How you’ve never had to fight for anything. And I don’t mean Twitter battles. Or making posts like this. I mean the unimaginable trauma of taking a life, or watching blood bubble out of your body because someone else can’t agree on where one country ends and another starts, or because you’ve given your life in the perpetual plight of defending the line between where liberty ends and communism starts.

Seriously. Think about it.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Sure, it’s great for me but it’s not so great for oppressed group X”. By now it should be clear that that narrative is constantly being hijacked for political purposes. But it’s also clear that there has been genuine oppression in this country, some systemic forms of which still exist. But think again about freedom. If you truly want to help, you’re free to find someone that needs help and help them. You’re free to start a literacy program. You’re free to teach someone a skill. You’re free to enliven someone by showing them the value of work. You’re free to start a humanitarian aid organization. You’re free to volunteer. You’re free to assemble peacefully and petition your government for a redress of grievances. You’re free to open your home. You’re free to get a job and put all of your spare earnings into making a real difference in your community. You’re free to do so many things that this paragraph could be thousands of words long and still not come close to chronicling them all.

You can’t right past wrongs. But you can make future rights. Equal opportunity is a beautiful thing to fight for. What’s also beautiful is the person you become by building something instead of tearing it down. This is the heart and soul of the American ethos, built by the virtuous vision of the founders: a place that protects your God-given right to make whatever you want out of your God-given life.

To deny the transcendental truth of the principles put forth in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution is to deny the very composition of human nature. Have all American citizens lived up to every covenant outlined therein? No. Has any group of humans ever lived up to their collective code of conduct perfectly? No. But the foundation is there. The values are valiant. And to deny that America has made strides toward living up to its ideals is to deny reality. To tear down that foundation is a grave mistake.

Take one minute and think about what you’re asking for. Regurgitating the rhetoric of America being founded by slavery on stolen land and being irredeemably evil is not only short-sighted and deceitful, it’s dangerous. You’re inadvertently (and in increasingly more cases blatantly) advocating for Civil War 2. You know what that means right? Murder. Pillaging. Blood. Death. Concentration camps. Roasting people over real fires, not just on social media. If the side of communism wins, firing squads. Drawing new borders. Anointing new kings. Taking over land that was someone else’s. All the things you say you’re against. All the atrocities you’ve been so lucky to avert in your lifetime. You want to bring them all raining down upon yourselves and your fellow citizens?

We’re at a tipping point. This is our moment of truth. The fate of our country and our children will be determined by whether we choose to build or destroy – right now. If you care at all about humanity the way you say you do, the choice should be clear.

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Consider 2020

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This Independence Day, consider the state of the union. Or rather, the state of the division.

Consider freedom. Consider its fragility. Consider how it feels like an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while.

Whether or not you agreed with the recent government-imposed restrictions, consider how easy it was for liberty to be locked down. Consider the capriciousness of a select few deciding who and what is “essential”. Consider that next time, what you value the most might not make the cut.

Consider the importance that those who are supposed to secure the conditions required for us to exercise our agency have instead required us to capitulate to their conditions of what’s important.

Consider free speech. Consider how free you feel to speak your mind publicly. On this trajectory, consider how long you think it might be until you feel the same about speaking your mind privately.

Consider which kinds of large gatherings have been allowed, and which have not. In a time of crisis, consider which precedences they remembered, and which they forgot.

Consider that the youth in this country are now taught to hate it.

Consider the philosophy hidden behind the phrases. Consider what people are now being called racist for. Consider that “racist” now means anyone who doesn’t fall in line with the latest dogma du jour.

Consider 2020. But also consider 1920, when the Bolsheviks were coming to power in Russia. Consider how they too took control of the media and the educational system, how they erased history and raided personal property. Consider how they rebranded the family as a government commodity.

Consider the utopia they created by eradicating 50 million perceived oppressors.

Consider what’s been destroyed so far. Take stock, because the national anthem, the free market, freedom of religion, the Bible, and the Constitution are all next on the chopping block.

Tonight, consider the muted celebrations. The music that isn’t quite as loud. The crowds that aren’t quite as inspired. The fireworks that don’t fly quite as high… if you’re lucky enough see them at all.

Consider what was built by all those that came before.
In the days that come after tonight,
consider what you’re willing to fight for.

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I Am Not Shaken

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mock me, slang me, scourge me, hang me
I was just trying to give you some good news
betray me
profane me
take my name in vain
take my name and proclaim it’s vain
take a flame and propane to the pain I overcame
the shame of these aspartame aspirations
as pertaining to authority
exasperatingly pushing paradigms that are 5 cents short of a quarter
I’ve never been in the majority
so deporting me from my own creation is unfortunately familiar
I’ve seen this one before

I was not shaken when a scribe tried to cross my words
I am not shaken when a scribe buys a laptop and microsoft word
editorials in the times
telling me I’m not up on the times
when I’m up on top of time
shredding me in reddit threads, flogging me in monologue jokes and blog posts
rotten tomatoes will never stand a chance against a rock though

my love is not in any way shaken by hatred
my laws are not in any way shaken by breaking them
as much as the earth may quake and
sway with ferocity and fraudulence
or swirl in great whirlwinds of animosity and opulence
I will not be disheveled
good is good
evil is evil
I will not be… deviled

as long as there’s been truth
they’ve longed to bend it
but lies don’t become true just because they’re trending on Twitter
no condescending comment on Youtube will ever become scripture
like I didn’t get the picture
when I painted it
like I didn’t understand what was in the cup
when I tasted it
like I didn’t understand the stakes of mediation
when I became it
like I didn’t understand the stakes
when they hammered them into me
this is not the first time they’ve spat at me
or abandoned me
they’ve always sat around tables and slandered me
they just didn’t always have video cameras

I am not shaken by heresies or blasphemies
or taken by appearances or majesties
or pharisees or sadducees
I am everlasting
eternal truth amidst evaporating snapchats
I was instagramming at the birth of the universe
#lettherebelight
no filter, it was good
the first ever like
I spun together galaxies
I am not one to get undone by spun together fallacies
and perverted versions of reality
before the Earth was flat
before the sun and planets revolved around the Earth
before you even dreamed of leaving footprints on the moon
or roving around the frozen estates of Mars
I made stars
and no matter how much space these telescopes can parse
they will never gather enough photons
to illuminate hearts

it’s a cold world
to keep warm they’ve always burned believers
spurned redeemers
purged the teachers
empowered the proud and the hateful
devoured the faithful
then turned beleaguered
sprouted towers of babel
it’s never worked but I still see ‘em
trying to reach into heaven with Burj Khalifas
never learned the sequence
the last shall be first

so try as they may to distort the day
they can scorn me say the sun doesn’t exist
but these daily morning rays would say otherwise
no matter how many times the world turns away
every day I rise
I’m still the light and the life
the good shepherd
the eternal exemplar
tarred and feathered, scarred but unfettered
the living water, the earth, wind, and the fire
the undeniable messiah for good measure
the only begotten son
the greatest victory ever won was done
when I surrendered

so mock me, slang me, scourge me, hang me
assail me
impale me
kill me
I’ve seen this one before
I am
I always was
and I always will be

I am not shaken.

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Life is Precious (I’m Glad You Agree)

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we should do everything we can to save just one life
right Governor Cuomo?

No one is expendable
right vice president Biden?

all human lives are precious
right Mayor Garcetti?

I’m glad you all agree
because when a society loses respect for human life
amen to that society

life is precious
even when you light up the World Trade Center in pink to boast
that life is disposable
especially notable because you emphatically organized
that vainglorious devotional
on the very grounds where 11 unborn children are memorialized
next to their mothers
forever etched in stone
for dying at the hands of one of most awful acts
of violence against innocent human life that we’ve ever known
a crime that we surely do not condone

life is precious
even when it’s a burden
we just put tens of millions of people out of work and
didn’t even bat an eye
we would crumble economies
while we mount our immunity
we would risk hunger and homelessness and depression and suicide
on countless in our communities just to save one life
interesting
that we would make that kind of sacrifice

yes, life is precious
we all know it is
that doesn’t change based on whether news of pregnancy is followed by congratulations or condolences

the worth of a soul
is not based on how much they are wanted

life is precious
no matter how many euphemisms we have to make up
to justify the carnage
you know what you feel when you read about
a baby that’s been stuffed into a shoebox
and found in the garbage
as if abortionists aren’t doing the same thing

we’ve all felt the contractions
the only thing worse than the death penalty is
getting the death penalty for someone else’s actions

life is precious
my Dad’s life is precious
my grandmother’s lives are precious
my 1-year old boy’s life was precious when he was a week out of the womb
and his life was precious two weeks before that
you don’t get to choose when life becomes precious
unless you’re God
and I don’t see your white robes

I don’t know if these measures are showing humans at their best
or exposing them at their worst
because if you would go to these lengths to protect someone that is a month away from taking their last breath
why don’t you protect someone that is a month away from taking their first?

life is precious
it’s why every newborn baby’s face has a claim on you
you can’t help but feel the hope for humanity
the amazement of creation
and the wonder for what he or she will become in this world
what do you feel when you see the aftermath of an abortion?
can you even bear to look?

the wounds of the womb run deep
whether it’s a plane or a physician doing the piercing
either way
we’ve got blood on our hands

life is precious

I’m glad you agree
because when a society loses respect for human life
amen to that society

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There Will Be Heroes

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I guess we were pretty lucky to be arguing over bathrooms
four score ago it seems
that being stuck in our cars during rush hour
was the worst of our quarantines
when we washed our hands
when it was convenient
when we went outside for reasons
beyond just to see if we still can
when sitting next to each other staring at our phones
was the only social distancing we practiced
when bad calls against our teams
were the most egregious of our grievances

we forgot
there will be death

we’ve always been plagued by pestilence
the stench of tyranny
has always wafted through our consciences
the trenches of warfare
have always swallowed the bravest of us
hurricanes have always been chasing us
and where they can’t reach
the earth still shakes us

we are haunted by holocausts
and the ghosts of gulags and the killing fields
ravaged by cancers
and small poxes with large body counts
scarred by martyrs jabbing airplanes into our arteries
we are slaves and masters
sashaying amidst knaves and massacres
we are log cabins
charred by fires by foraged by floods

there will be blood

if you’re like me
you’ve had some spare time to mull your mortality
the scourge of our sentience
the curse of becoming literate of our livelihood
is learning
that every life story will end
with a death sentence
perhaps more perplexing
if we’re just random collections of cells
why do we even care if those cells become infected?

if we’re just passengers on a sinking ship
why does it matter when the torpedos come?

there will be ambushes

this is not what my 2020 vision looked like
this is not how I wanted to grace the pages of history
but the history of grace would say
the course might change
but the destination doesn’t
the diseases, the afflictions, and the wars might change
but the reclamation mustn’t

we remembered

we remembered the hiding places
the helping hands that surfaced when the waves abated
the shelters and shining faces
the donations
the rebuilding after the wind ran out of breath
the new gardens germinating in the wastelands the fires left
the sacrifices
the freedom those soldiers forged from their foxholes
the Clara Bartons
the Mother Theresas
the doctors the researchers
the Pasteurs and the Jenners that
vaccinated us from the fates that awaited us
the morning sunrises
the Florence Nightingales
the innovation
the Wilbers that Forced liberation
the Harriet Tubmans, the Bonhöffers
the angels that emerged from the ashes carrying our sons and daughters

there will be heroes

we don’t always get to choose our battles
but we always get to choose what side we’re on
we’re all the cough
and the cure
every body counts

I guess now we find out what happens
when the only thing emptier than the aisles
are the streets
and the only thing fuller than our feeds
are the hospital beds
we’re going to have to reach past these devices
we hold at arm’s distance
and reach for an armistice

we’re gonna have to spend our courage on something besides Twitter
we’re gonna have to retrofit our hearts
and start using them for what hearts are for
because beyond these backlit screens
is a world
that needs us more than ever
this is not just a live stream of data to agonize to
this is our occasion to rise to
this is our time to feed, to teach, to sew
to nurse, and cherish, and clothe
to get to know,
to give, to protect, to serve
to heal, and feel, and show

there will be heroes

and if death knocks on our door
let it find us
by the side of someone we would die for
in the depths of this disaster
or any that follow
let us not forget
and love and laughter
let us rejoice
for that death sentence
is only the end of a chapter

there will be more

there will be more

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