Tag Archives abortion

my daughter
my dear, weary daughter

welcome home

I bless you
for I perceive that ye are poor in spirit
I see your heart
you’ve washed my feet with your tears it’s

no small gesture
to reach for my robe in remission
now, you need not spend any more
of your living on physicians

rest in me
rest from the malaise
and furors of the wilderness
the world and its ways

yes, you are broken
but also no longer beholden
to treachery
no longer a slave to slogans

though you know sometimes
they’re actually kind of true
I did give you a body
and I gave you freedom to choose

but when creature quells creator
and walks only after the flesh
peace and life are forsaken
to be carnally minded is death

there’s a time and place
for the fire that burns within
as for the man that left you here
I’ll have my words with him

it may seem to the world
the burden is unfairly weighted
but I say unto you
it’s a burden incomparably favored

for as the work of creation proceedeth
in this grand and daring story
those who share in this work
shall also share in the glory

but before the great harvest
of ripening divine
there shall persist tares among the wheat
deceiving those who might be mine

they’ll promise empowerment
and go about convincing you
to reject the greatest power that
I could possibly have given you

and lo, the precarious weight
of choosing
for whosoever saves her own life
shall lose it

for God so loved the world
he gave his only begotten son
as Mary can attest – every human conception
is only begotten once

thus, the grave danger
in persons doing the selection
personhood is not a matter
of another persons perspective

personhood
is not determined by wage
gender, location
skin color, or age

personhood
if left to other persons to decide
always begins with rationale
and always ends in genocide

it’s a frail and fallen abode
that all men are dwellers of
I’ve told you of truth
now let me tell you of love

of the inheritance of those
that seek me in meekness
for behold, my power
is made perfect in weakness

I know that parts of this passage
feel like being stranded in catacombs
and I know thine accusers
have gathered and cast the first stones

but in the fulness of time
when all the dust settles
for those on the rock of salvation
those perils will be but pebbles

there’s no wound I can’t heal
no depths I haven’t descended
though justice must prevail
mine arm of mercy is extended

my joy is full
in the saving of your soul
virtue has gone out of me
and made you whole

now arise, listen
come follow me
be a fisher of women

tell them what you know
what you wish you’d known when
you were kin to their conundrum
show them they are not alone then

tell them of my love
in all the grace I’ve afforded you
tell them I am comfort in crisis
I will meet their fears with fortitude

give voice to truth and beauty
where chastity is cherished
tell them to plan parenthood
in the divine covenant of marriage

at the mere mention of such words
legions will swarm and besiege you
it is now as it’s been before
heed them not, for I will lead you

go and light the world
dear daughter, live in me
be of good cheer for in your faith
I have forgiven thee

so
I don’t know if you’re real
or if I’m of any real concern
but I’m desperate
and I have nowhere else to turn

someone once told me that when all was lost
I should go to you
well, hi… I ended a life
is my life over too?

is mine a destiny of grief
I know it was ungodly
so what’s the sentence for a thief
that robs a soul of a body

do you hate me?
should I even bother pleading my case
I feel like hell
you can probably see it in my face

I guess feeling like this
is likely inescapable
how could someone be unwanted
and at the same time irreplaceable

but listen, my whole life
it’s all I ever heard
everywhere the same view
all the celebrities concurred

it started as safety
but then they made it something sacred
they made cakes, held parades
and lit buildings to celebrate it

they used euphemisms to
sanitize any shame
I thought how bad could it be if
60 million had done the same

who was I to contradict
the mighty cultural curators
that said life can be created casually
and decided upon later

they said it was empowering
they masked motherhood in insanity
they said there’s nothing more old fashioned
than having a family

what was I to make of that
I had so many plans made
they said if I had a baby
that would just make me a handmaid

I saw all the memes
I concede – I believed them
I saw all the smiling CEOs
of course I wanted to be them

for the key to freedom
was boundless sex in the city
I expected happiness
what I found left me sitting

alone in a condo with a conundrum
the guy told he loved me
then after he found out
well, he told me nothing

I never heard from him again
so I took everyone’s advice
if you can’t give her a life
then you can’t give her life

I asked about adoption
they scoffed, even mocked it
they said if I wanted opportunity
I really had no other options

so I made my visit to the clinic
with pamphlets and a smile
they said to plan parenthood
I had to destroy my child

and so it was
in the vice of this irony
I let them kill
the new life inside of me

they offered medicine
for pain and some trite condolences
but they never mentioned
the regret, the plight, the brokenness

the despair
the soaked pillows
the what have I done

I still hear the empty echoes
of “my body my choice”
but now all I can feel
in my body is a void

if it was just a clump of cells
then why
do I die every day
wondering if she would have had my eyes

they lied
I know now that
no amount of euphemisms can hide the truth
that clump of cells was life

and the guilt won’t subside
it’s only gotten worse with
their platitudes of pleasures
there’s no salary that’s worth this

I remember questioning-

would she feel any pain
they were quick to affirm
that it was for her own good
but I’ve since come to learn

there’s a twisted kind of dissonance
in altruism’s chords
played as putting her out of her misery
when you’re putting her out of yours

will you forgive me
will my sin ever be vanquished
or will this anguish outlive me?

I’m sorry
this is not what I had planned
I’m sorry that it took me this long
to finally understand

that among all the voices
it was yours I should have beckoned
but is it too late?
am I banished from heaven?

even more than my mind
it was my heart that they stole
they didn’t tell me that damn vacuum
would suck out part of my soul

someone once told me that when I was lost
I could come home again
that mess on the doorstep is me
can you make me whole again?

bans off our bodies
this is none of your concern
you’re a fascist, you’re regressive
and all the other terms

you abolitionists
riding your high horses
always trying to provide
the voiceless with a voice but

you don’t really care
you won’t support their maturation
you’re just pro birth
you’re just pro emancipation

our fathers taught us this
for our jobs this is needed
we inherited this culture
you can’t rob us of convenience

we will not abdicate
do not conspire to prohibit
we’ll just travel to a state
where our desires are permitted

we’ve made an industry of this
we won’t go down without a fight
we’ll dig in, we will shout
we are proud, we are right

you cry and reprimand
you try to ban what we’re doing
but you don’t understand
they’re not fully human

we’re doing them a favor
this world’s too much for them
they’d live a hard life
so that life we must end

these are just clumps of cells
nobody’s sons or daughters
we’ve got sponsors on our side
our bosses pay for the slaughter

and what about my partner
you’re always scolding me
what of the one who sold the slave
and the one sowed his seed

illegitimate we’ll scream
we’ll trumpet our benevolence
as we plot to assassinate
justices and presidents

we’ll claim that we’re the slaves
though we had other choices
I guess the difference is
who administers the poison

we’ll take the bible out of context
pervert its words to support us
we justified the whips
and we’ll justify the forceps

they reeled from the lashings
and recoil from the needles
there’s blood on the soil
there’s blood on the table

but it’s a necessary evil
somebody’s gotta pay the price while
you want to save a life
we want to save a lifestyle

this mansion this career
all this pomp and ceremony
without sacrificing them
we could not have won these trophies

we turned babies into burdens
perhaps no one noticed but
we converted the very nature
from congrats to condolences

through lies and clever branding
like “reproductive rights”
or like we’re just granting
their cotton picking rights

love is love
but life isn’t always life
if we decide we don’t want it
it’s just a parasite

tearing limb from limb
is just “ending a pregnancy”
we are not accountable
we are just defending a legacy

we’re the victims here
this is forced birth
you can’t force us to free them
that’s forced freedom… it occurs

that this rings a bit familiar
like some kind of déjà vu
is it eighteen sixty one
or two thousand twenty two?

I can’t help but feel
just a twinge of dissonance
like history is haunting
I guess the other difference

in being torn from a placenta or
being forced onto a plantation
is that in abortion’s aftermath
there’s no hope for liberation