Poetry

The Most Dangerous Man in Poland

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born into post-war and post-democracy Poland
from an early age Jerzy Popieluszko felt the weight
of growing up in the shadow of the iron curtain
in a Soviet satellite state

In 1966, at the age of 19
he was forced into military service
where he was met with threats, indoctrination
bullying, beatings, and temptations

they tried anything they could to break him
for in this young man was detected faith in
something greater than the government
but he could not be shaken

In 1972 he was ordained a priest
rather frail in stature and speech
they said Father Jerzy was a pastor
who had the smell of the sheep

he devoted himself to ministering
to holding the torch for the believing
to being a support for the grieving
and a source for the seeking

but as his faith was deepening
the regime was growing more oppressive
any opposition to their rhetoric was meticulously muzzled
as was freedom of conscience and expression

the economy was strangled
schools and factories were shuttered
freedom of worship was forsaken
in favor of state-flavored atheism
and not a word of dissent could be uttered

they said communism was progress
and the church was an obstacle to it
in 1981 an underground, anti-authoritarian movement was created
they called it Solidarity
its aim — peaceful civil resistance to the administration

a large contingent of this movement were religious
and when they gathered for Mass
they needed a chaplain
Jerzy was only one to volunteer

he sacrificed his time, his safety, and his health
to strengthen his congregation, to give them hope
channel their anger, and purify their hatred
to encourage them to not give in to fear

soon, 20,000+ would gather to hear his
unauthorized words of redemption, love, and spirit
his messages were recorded
and spread through all of Eastern Europe
via clandestine cassette tapes
but this of course
made him even more of an enemy of the State

a State that was bent on controlling
not only the actions
but the minds and the character of the people
thus, the entire Solidarity movement was declared illegal

the country was put under Martial Law
and any suspected to be involved
were subject to searches, raids, and lockdowns
after sham trials and forged circumstance
thousands were forced into internment camps

still, he persisted
the humble chaplain continued to champion
the cause with conviction
despite his escalating exhaustion, fatigue, and sickness

the government called his sermons
“seances of hate”
they called him “The most dangerous man in Poland”
dangerous
for declaring the dignity of the individual
dangerous
for asserting that God was sovereign
dangerous
for revering mother Mary over mother Russia
dangerous
for subverting the narrative

so they portrayed him as a terrorist
though his message was never one of violence or revenge
they called his information misinformation
because to their truth, he would not bend

there could be no minister of truth
in the Ministry of Truth

and so the crosshairs narrowed

Father Jerzy was constantly harassed
in suffocating surveillance
he learned that the eye from Moscow never closes
they bugged his phone and
tossed bombs through his apartment window
random speeding cars would target him at crossroads

this persecution pervaded for months
until finally, on an icy night in October 1984
as he was being driven toward a morning service
his car was forced to pull over

three shadowy figures converged on him with nightsticks
and by time they finished
their cowardice had crafted from Jerzy
an unrecognizable crimson caricature

his blood on their hands
with despicable rigor
they fettered his feet with stones
and dropped him from a bridge into the Vistula river

half a million mourned at his funeral
but even more than his martyrdom
his refusal to submit galvanized his countrymen
his courage fortified them with strength and hope in what they could all do
they persisted
and though their exemplar was felled
a few years later the Berlin wall would fall too

For Poland, the long march to liberation ended when
the leader of Solidarity was elected president
in the country’s first free election
since before the Cold War

today, pilgrimages are still made
to the grave in Warsaw where Father Jerzy was laid to rest
at its foot an eternal flame burns
in remembrance
and as a reminder

that you can kill a man that speaks truth
but you can’t kill the truth

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A Memoir from the Unclean

https://youtu.be/W8pyOPR2Ntw
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so the arsonists want to be remembered as the firefighters

what I remember was
that you lied
and said it was okay
because these were noble lies
lies for my own good
you just wanted me to do what you wanted me to do
so the end justifies the means and all that
I call that misinformation
you called it benevolence

I mean, free doughnuts, burgers, and beer
how could I resist

you relentlessly repeated
that it was highly effective and safe
but only allowed the dissemination of evidence
that properly corroborated your case

you said one size fits all
despite the tremendous discrepancy
between a healthy 19 year old
and an elderly 91 year old

to coerce me into conforming
you made my risk calculation for me

you browbeat me with heuristics
and manipulated statistics
on a normal mortal day what was a tragic accident
was now reported to say – a Covid death
so the hospital could score a more bloated check
you abandoned the maxims of medicine
and the principles of its people
you wouldn’t let doctors be doctors
or let patients be informed of options
no, you prescribed the cure
the only acceptable cure
that just happened to be the product
of big government, big pharma
and the mainstream media conglomerate
I know-
I’m just supposed to go along with it
supply and demand
you supply it
and you demand it

if only that was all you did

you bulldozed skateparks
and arrested mothers for playing at the park
with their children
meanwhile millions marched
in “mostly peaceful” protests
parading arm in arm, row by row through the streets
wading through a cloud of viral vapor you said was so deadly
that I couldn’t stand by myself at the beach

you were so wise for
closing churches – those were unessential
you were so wise for
destroying anyone’s business that wasn’t Walmart or Amazon
or Pfizer

you taught children to fear faces
you masked them while maskless politicians pranced through their classrooms
confounding them
you masked cheerleaders
while twenty thousand maskless people cheered around them
you locked us down then
wined and dined with your lobbyists
I get it – how could you possibly be expected to launder if
you had to follow the same rules that you made for the commoners
it’s obvious
I’m the villain here

you promised that shots would stop the spread
you snarled and vilified the unclean
and when proven wrong
you conveniently forgot what you said

you painted circles in the grass
partitioned us by papers and glass
as if our politics weren’t enough
you herded us onto meticulously distanced platforms of pittance

you said there would be no Christmas for the plebes
you partied at Martha’s Vineyard
and pardoned it
because the pandemic didn’t target sophisticated elites

you stripped us of dignity, and liberty
except for those you would vigorously anoint
you told us not to worry
for freedom would soon be restored… at syringe point

you adorned your doors with signs like whites only-
I mean “vaxxed only”

you perpetuated witch hunts
you berated people on planes
you put people in camps
you made contradictory claims
you seized bank accounts
you fired anyone that wouldn’t comply
you tore apart families
you wouldn’t even let them say goodbye

you craved power
so instead of educating the public
and advocating critical thinking
you did anything you could to make their fear greater
you deleted people from social media for saying the same things
the corporate media finally endorsed a year later

you scorned and warned and deplatformed
you said you were the only source of truth
you blatantly branded any objectors
as fools with unacceptable views
derelict heretics and hoodlums
you propped up dehumanization as the proper moral posture
you laughed and sneered when people died,
then told me that you’re the good ones

that seems like a lot
well, it was

and now come the retrofitted headlines
the revisionist history
and all the gaslighting on top of it

taking away mandates does not take away your culpability
I am not impressed with you retracting the plank after you’ve made me walk off of it

I am not impressed when you constrain your whips
I am not impressed when you lift the boot from my esophagus
because you need to change your socks

I am not impressed with your concern for humanity
when your real concern
was obviously how much you profited

I know you’ve already forgotten
and you want me to just forget it all too

well I’m penning these words
and speaking them
against the ominous odds that
some modicum of this survives the memory purge

if it does, let memory serve
let memories be stirred
let us remember
what we all knew

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Critical Race Theory – Erasing or Rejuvenating Racism?

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In 2020 a virus swept across the Earth
it wasn’t novel
it wasn’t an accident
it put a lot of people in hospitals
but not quite in the way you think
it wasn’t Trump’s fault
it didn’t come from China
it came from a land called “Academia”
when the progeny of a long line of post modernists
stuck a pitchfork into the grave of Marxism
and lightning struck
just our luck
it crawled up out of its resting place
and immediately turned its mutated, murderous eyes on race
this resuscitated cancer began dismantling humanity
disrupting progress
and deconstructing everything it could find

see, this virus
infected minds

it was so insidious
that it took good people and twisted them to its purpose
it took every gesture, every greeting, every glance and insisted that we interpret them in the most hideous way possible
it was all the buzz
it taught that character didn’t count
but that melanin does
it coerced allegiance
to a new religion
where we are created in the image of grievance
original sin is your race
but there’s no grace
no salvation, no savior
it urged the congregation to execute justice now
because there’s no God to do it later
its prophets profited greatly
any apostates who wouldn’t bear false witness
were berated from a preset potpourri of platitudes
you know them well, I’ll spare you

it championed misanthropy
and rebranded any manner of critique as “fragility”
it reinvented the word racism
lest it be condemned by its own rhetoric
this infection
stigmatized freedom

it claimed that there’s no correct way to look at the world
but certainly
the correct way of looking at the world is that all white people are evil
the irony of subjective certainty
the gall of solving systemic racism by being systemically racist

some called themselves anti-racist and tried to escape it
but by definition, they couldn’t
and by deposition, they wouldn’t
it taught that 2+2 is…
just a hegemonic discourse
along with individuality, self-reliance, logic, and science
and made a mockery of hard work, family,
planning for the future, and private property

it flipped a narrative as easily as a coin
heads I win, tails you lose
guilty until proven guilty
it taught that both speech and silence were violence
both resistance and admittance were violations
what were we to make of
a theory so critical that every smile must be scrutinized
a theory so cynical that every conversation must be euthanized
every handshake must harbor hostility
how would this increase the probability of peace?
perhaps peace wasn’t the point

if white people can’t shed their whiteness
and whiteness is irredeemable and must be dismantled then
what exactly are you saying should happen to them?
this malady manufactured the masochism
necessary for the nihilism that it implored
it trumpeted tribalism
and required that we imbibe the only lie large enough to incite a global civil war

and to all of this
it didn’t have to answer
because shrewdly rooted into its nucleus was the tenet
that it can never be questioned
by rejecting introspection
it stressed the projection of evil onto something else
conveniently other than oneself
malevolence disguised as righteousness
it’s no more a mystery
this virus just
plagiarized every other sadly savage story in human history

it’s crazy
this far into this experiment of humankind
we’re still trying to figure out what kind of humans
we are

this skin…
while it’s great for regulating our body temperature
and protecting our insides from threats on our outsides
it was never meant to define us

all the sweat glands and blood vessels and nerve endings in the world
can’t hold a candle to one soul

superimposing a superficial coating on divinity
is like stuffing infinity into a shoebox
such a disservice
to find the line between good and evil you’re going to need to dig a lot deeper than the epidermis
whatever kind of humans we are
we are not mere avatars of our accumulated ancestry
we are not oppressed or oppressor
each one of us is a genetically and spiritually unique being
never before seen in the history of the world
each one of us is responsible exclusively for what we’ve done
and for what we become

my argument is not that no wrongs have ever been wrought
nor that we should ignore them
but some ideologies are wrong too
and it just doesn’t behoove us to absorb them
instead of forming our identities from the intersection of our oppressions
what if they were borne out of the intersection of our compassions?
I’m just asking
what if instead of presuming that “racism is present everywhere and always”
we presumed that graciousness is present everywhere and always
and did our part to make it so

what if instead of investing in new methods of systemic failure
we aimed for systemic amelioration
and instead of assessing collective blame we recognized individual worth
looking for the best in someone is so much better than looking for the worst
there’s a reason you’ve never shopped for a box of 64 same colors
we are beautiful, diverse
sticks of pigmented wax
begging to make masterpieces
that
is the significance of what we learn when
instead of scrutinizing smiles, we return them

my argument is not that racism doesn’t exist
but that truth does

I’ve learned truth from black men and black women
and from West Europeans and East Indians and North Canadians and South Africans
and from every letter of the acronym
because truth is independent from the minds that decipher it
and the lips that deliver it
we must be willing to live for it

we must remain liberal enough to conserve the rights of free speech, free ideas, and freedom to criticize those ideas in the pursuit of progress, equality, justice, mercy, and goodness

as the human race
we need to understand how much we really have to lose
the good news about THIS pandemic is that
we know the cause
and we know the cure
we just have to choose

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The Eye of the Thunderstorms

I need three hands to count how many years I lived in California. I only need one to count how many thunderstorms I experienced while I was there.

The other night I was out for a walk on an empty Texas road. In every direction there were dark skies and frantic streaks of lightning. Thunder grumbled ominously off in the distance.

But where I was walking, it was calm. I could see stars above me. There was no commotion, no wind, no rain.

If we named the storms of 2020 like they do hurricanes, we’d have exhausted the alphabet many times over. I don’t need to list them. They’re stamped into our skin like a reckless night at a tattoo parlor.

Sometimes, the smoke from the fires is so thick that it’s as if the sun slept through its morning alarm and just said “forget it”. And we go whole days
with no light.

But on that quiet road I remembered.

About two thousand years ago there was a whole night
with no darkness.

That stuck with me, because I’ve been searching for light
in what seems to be only darkness.

I’ve been searching for truce
in what feels like a war of the worlds.

I’ve been searching for truth
in a raucous cacophony of ideologies, so many to choose from.

I’ve been searching for a way, like an x-ray
to see through the confusion.

But on that quiet road I remembered.

What better way to find the truth
than through God’s spoken word?

What better way to find light
than by He who created it?

I can’t always find the why of the storms
but I’m thankful
that I can always find the eye.

The calm. The comfort.
The correctness.

Even with the all hardship, harshness,
and thunder in all directions
if we follow Him
we will not walk in darkness.

He didn’t say when, or even if
these tempests would cease
but that He would walk with us
and in Him, we could still find peace.

On that quiet road
He remembered me.

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I Am Not Shaken

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mock me, slang me, scourge me, hang me
I was just trying to give you some good news
betray me
profane me
take my name in vain
take my name and proclaim it’s vain
take a flame and propane to the pain I overcame
the shame of these aspartame aspirations
as pertaining to authority
exasperatingly pushing paradigms that are 5 cents short of a quarter
I’ve never been in the majority
so deporting me from my own creation is unfortunately familiar
I’ve seen this one before

I was not shaken when a scribe tried to cross my words
I am not shaken when a scribe buys a laptop and microsoft word
editorials in the times
telling me I’m not up on the times
when I’m up on top of time
shredding me in reddit threads, flogging me in monologue jokes and blog posts
rotten tomatoes will never stand a chance against a rock though

my love is not in any way shaken by hatred
my laws are not in any way shaken by breaking them
as much as the earth may quake and
sway with ferocity and fraudulence
or swirl in great whirlwinds of animosity and opulence
I will not be disheveled
good is good
evil is evil
I will not be… deviled

as long as there’s been truth
they’ve longed to bend it
but lies don’t become true just because they’re trending on Twitter
no condescending comment on Youtube will ever become scripture
like I didn’t get the picture
when I painted it
like I didn’t understand what was in the cup
when I tasted it
like I didn’t understand the stakes of mediation
when I became it
like I didn’t understand the stakes
when they hammered them into me
this is not the first time they’ve spat at me
or abandoned me
they’ve always sat around tables and slandered me
they just didn’t always have video cameras

I am not shaken by heresies or blasphemies
or taken by appearances or majesties
or pharisees or sadducees
I am everlasting
eternal truth amidst evaporating snapchats
I was instagramming at the birth of the universe
#lettherebelight
no filter, it was good
the first ever like
I spun together galaxies
I am not one to get undone by spun together fallacies
and perverted versions of reality
before the Earth was flat
before the sun and planets revolved around the Earth
before you even dreamed of leaving footprints on the moon
or roving around the frozen estates of Mars
I made stars
and no matter how much space these telescopes can parse
they will never gather enough photons
to illuminate hearts

it’s a cold world
to keep warm they’ve always burned believers
spurned redeemers
purged the teachers
empowered the proud and the hateful
devoured the faithful
then turned beleaguered
sprouted towers of babel
it’s never worked but I still see ‘em
trying to reach into heaven with Burj Khalifas
never learned the sequence
the last shall be first

so try as they may to distort the day
they can scorn me say the sun doesn’t exist
but these daily morning rays would say otherwise
no matter how many times the world turns away
every day I rise
I’m still the light and the life
the good shepherd
the eternal exemplar
tarred and feathered, scarred but unfettered
the living water, the earth, wind, and the fire
the undeniable messiah for good measure
the only begotten son
the greatest victory ever won was done
when I surrendered

so mock me, slang me, scourge me, hang me
assail me
impale me
kill me
I’ve seen this one before
I am
I always was
and I always will be

I am not shaken.

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Street Noise (a corona-poem)

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there’s a busy street behind my house
I can’t see it
the HOA built a wall just high enough
so that we can pretend it’s not there
but I can hear it

I’ve heard it every day I’ve lived here
as constant as the sunrise

the rumble of trucks hauling their precious cargo
the cry of sirens grieving over emergencies
the roar of motorcycles boasting about their horsepower
the familiar din of engines just… propelling people to work

radiating the steam of sweat
belting out songs in the key of stress
congregating errands into a concerto of vrooms
an auto-motopoeia

a perpetual auto-promenade between the lanes
painted on pavement
that plays out a lot like
starcrossed lovers
moving to and fro in the rhythm
of the stoplights

when we were considering buying this place
we listed “street noise” at the top of the “con” column
like babe “I’m not sure if I can bear to hear that every day”

but the property had a lot of pros too
so we chose to learn to deal with it

the noise is less these days
those poor vrooms
disassociated by social distancing
they sound a lot more like lonesome solos
than a symphony
I wake up every morning hoping I can still hear something

because if I don’t
if the engines run dry
if the mufflers become exhausted
if the batteries die and
the tires retire from the tango

if the whooshes can no longer as much as whisper

if that street succumbs to silence

I’m not sure if I can bear to hear what’s next

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